.
Studying for the bar is a lot like working at home. Despite repeatedly being advised that you are busy, have deadlines, etc., no one seems to think you're 'really working.'
"Will you take care of . . . "
"Can you call and check on . . ."
"We need to get together with . . . "
A big 'concession' and acknowledgement of your so-called schedule is the sly, sheepish, "Couldn't we take just one hour to go over . . . " Like they know you really DO have that hour (and just won't admit it) but want to sound oh-so-reasonable by limiting their intrusion on your time to 'just' one hour.
But it's not just one hour. It's constant. Daily. Incessant. The phone rings - not once, not twice, and never for an emergency. "Just wanted to check with you about . . . " Then the kicker - after stopping/starting/stopping/starting (and my brain does not work well that way!) . . . after taking the time to answer the questions, solve the problem, make the list . . . "well, I don't know that I can pick up all those things today - I'm pretty busy, I'll just do what I can."
[insert series of outraged expletives here]
And then there's the lunches. And dinners. And other assorted get-togethers ~ "now that you're back". 'People who need people' may be the luckiest people, but I guarantee they aren't so damn lucky if they're trying to study for the bar exam. Especially when the people setting up these little soirées then try to beg off because they're too busy. "I know he wanted us all to get together, but I've got a lot to do today - you just go."
[expletives don't even begin to describe the meltdown]
Eveybody wants, and everybody needs
Everybody asks for one more piece
Everybody wants to hear someone say please
Cause everybody takes, and everybody steals
Everybody cries when something feels
Everybody's looking for the drug that heals
Doesn't anybody wanna take another shot at me?
Go ahead the gun is loaded and the bullets are for free
...................................................... Artist: Stabilo Boss
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3 comments:
It will get better [hopefully]!!
I completely feel your pain!!!
Thank you! I think what we all need to do is be absolutely clear that we are UNAVAILABLE UNTIL AUGUST. I sent my SO the following text message yesterday before I began my timed MBE Qs:
"Please do not come home before 4:30pm. If that is not possible, please go immediately upstairs and work quietly with the door shut."
SO is in sales and comes home mid-day to make calls and transmits orders - 100% noise and distraction.
Last night, I gently reminded SO that we had agreed I would be responsible for NONE of the day to day activities and we both knew it was necessary for the next couple of months. I need my days to be calm and totally bar-focused, and my evenings to be worry-free and normal to avoid burnout. I'm sorry, I don't want to take advantage - but we don't want to go through this again, right? I'll shoulder more than my share when this is over - that's what couples do. Right now, it's all on you.
SO previously read the entire 3 years of comments from Uncivil Litigator - Failing the Bar Exam,
http://uncivillitigator.blogspot.com/2004/08/failing-bar-exam.html
I know there will still be conflicts on a regular basis, but drawing a firm line in the sand (you must leave me alone!) and reminding SO of what so many repeaters go through seems to be working -- for now. I highly recommend steering your friends and family to UCL's site.
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